I think geography is a key thing. I think it may be more difficult in cities than rural areas.

I also think relationship structures and what we are more traditionally used to being in ie monogamy or non-monogamy can provide us with different skill sets for making friends.

That might be a wild assumption but I think UK culture on how we treat older people keeps them quite isolated.

It's interesting that this came up today as I've had a very lonely weekend.

Over the last 2 years, I've tried friend apps and connecting with colleagues (new and old) but nothing really seems to stick.

I think S is right, cities make it so much harder, especially as many tend to move in and out of cities.

I think there are too many factors and unfortunately, media drives these images of what our relationships with others should look like rather than just going with the flow

Absolutely yes. and I think, in my case, it's because I'm slowly losing the contexts where I was able to make those friends and I'm not the most sociable person that I would seek them out either. Back then, it was easier to make friends with those who are around you in school, uni, etc. but now I'm no longer studying and working from home...there are no people around me to make friends with so my circle is very very small.

I've also alienated most of my previous friendships because of mental health and personal stuff so it's definitely harder now 😅 been a very very long time since I made a friend.

and I absolutely agree. the bigger the city the more difficult it is to find others.

I so relate to this. I think one of the (many) reasons I was drawn towards non monogamy was losing the ability to form close connections as I got older, lost those contexts, and socialising became more formal.

I am quite a friendly guy so tend to pick people up as I go 😅I'd say when I've tried to make friends I've kinda pushed myself a bit with an activity I'm interested in

So going to a salsa class or a speed mating event

Having something to do / talk about that isn't just small talk is helpful

For me at least

For me, it's only gotten easier. With every year, I know myself more and more and I can find people that really vibe with me.

I think there are many factors to consider. Your personality, the climate in which you live, the city where you live, if you have children or not and also what you are looking for (a friend to hang out or to do activities).I moved 1 year ago to a city where it is sunny almost every day of the year, people live a lot outside and they are more relaxed and friendly. I have a child who started school this year it also helps a lot to make new friends because you already have a few things in common.

Think it might be mindset - felt like a real bastard last year and hated everyone and everything. Surprise, surprise - I made few friends/struggled to nurture new connections. This year I'm so chill am literally just vibing and have made some good new ones after going into a few rabbit holes. The thing that made the most difference, surprisingly, was less phone usage.