During lockdown, when there was not much else to do, I went on a journey to explore my body. One of the interesting things I learned, is how to orgasm without touch. After exploring different types of touch, I realised that it does not actually even take 'direct touch' to make me come. And with practice, less and less touch would do it - or even just imagining the touch. If I had to explain it, I think it is a mix of muscle tension, breathing and sensual triggers ( music/fantasy/ taste of food/interaction with a lover). I am very interested if others have experienced something like that in themselves or in a partner. Or maybe you have some other interesting thoughts on this.
There are some things that help me gain/ maintain focus though - and I think some of the 'sensual triggers' are actually more about focus.* music - that would ideally be a piece of music that I have heard several times and that contains some rhythmical or harmonic complexity. I think I have to know the piece of music before so that I can know which parts work to build up the tension. With some music the orgasms actually tend to be very long* a partner using eye-contact or voice to 'command my focus' (though that might also very much be a sub thing because I am into handing over control of my orgasms to a partner)
It took me a long time to work up to orgasm without touch. It takes a while for me to “get there”, 30-45 minutes typically, so I don’t do it very often, I tend to prefer touch. But it was kind of a mental challenge for me, to see if it was possible for me to think my way into an orgasm. I’ll say though, it’s not without any physical sensation at all, any contact with boxers/shorts/covers help a lot. And I’m not entirely motionless, I seem to make tiny hip movements to get there. Not much, but enough to cause a little friction with whatever is covering me. It seems like it would be a lot tougher without that.I’ll also say that there was more awareness of sensations across my body during orgasm with this technique, the feelings are less concentrated/ dominated by genital sensations.
Read this just now. That thing about it’s in the head makes sense to me as I noticed many time how it’s a specific thought that triggers my orgasm.
It's interesting that you achieved such experience (and that you are not alone in that), but for me it sounds like walking through walls. At some period of my life, when I got to know the concept of tulpa, I was inspired. Since I already have some tulpas from my imaginary world. Even though none of them was created "on purpose". I was amazed that some people can have a level of fully controllable hallucinations from their imaginary creations. I was wondering whether I could achieve more than I had. Which is a lot on its own. For example, I can view my imaginary spouse on top of the real world or interact with her in the imaginary realm, I can communicate with her and she indeed is a separate personality, even though in many ways complementary to mine. But of course, I would like to be able to touch her, to sense her. I spent a lot of time trying to develop such an ability. And I had 0 progress. Besides something extremely slight and unnoticeable, such senses like touch or smell are just out of control for my imagination.
I was thinking, I have quite a strange (but cool) experience with one of my partners where we kind of have shared semi hallucinations when we have body contact. We kind of roll around and let pictures come into our heads and they’re very often the same and sometimes very weird. In those we also have sort of orgasms (although not physical). The whole thing is kind of bizarre and neither of us really know what’s happening!
I think with a lot of things it's about training yourself to be present in the moment. These days were all so pre-occupied by external factors that we can't really be in the mental place we want to be. You could be having the best experience of your life then all of a sudden a random thought of a work deadline creeps in, even momentarily which can totally derail the want to be present in the moment. I've learned how to be present in the moment through overcoming addiction actually and I practice this in all things, so perhaps that has helped me