has anyone been forced to end a relationship/marriage because their partner wasn't even willing to communicate about open options?

snippets of what people shared on campfire.


My partner and I were open for a while during the dating phase. I have certain kinks that he cannot fulfil. And a very high sex drive. I recently brought up the idea of opening our marriage (same reasons) and got completely shut down. Now I feel like property. Like I've been trapped with no room to breathe. He is my best friend and has been for many years, but I'm concerned that will never be enough for me.


Sounds like a conversation that happened before marriage that maybe ended up in an open loop? I'd start by teasing out any insecurities or unmet needs based on that


If they're against communicating about it, then it could be a fear response and their insecurities/worries are getting the best of them. Perhaps it's different from dating because people tend to view marriage as more of a commitment, so it might not get the same response/openness.

If they're against non-monogamy/you having partners (and it's something that you can't compromise on), then I hope you honour your needs in whatever way you see will make you feel more "free". No one should be made to feel trapped and I'm sorry you're experiencing that ❤️


This sounds like a really difficult position to be in. I haven't been forced to end a relationship as a result of this but I have felt that feeling of being a bit trapped and unable to explore or communicate about being open (the relationship ended for other reasons).I would echo previous messages and hope that you are able to find freedom, I think it's so important to be free to be you and be loved for it too.


I appreciate the responses thank you. It's definitely a difficult situation to find myself in and brings up a lot of confusion and morality questions. For me personally. Other than continuing to try and talk it through or communicate in any way whether it be being open or insecurities etc.....I find myself at a crossroads where the only options at the end of the tunnel at the moment are to leave, or cheat.


I don't know your situation so I cannot speak on it but from experience, I will say that cheating may not do it for you especially if you feel something is missing in the relationship. If it's purely physical, it could work but the lies/deceit can get a bit much but if you want the emotional connection, don't put yourself through it.

I spent the last year trying to connect with my (ex) girlfriend and telling her I wanted to be open as she was unable to provide to me what I needed emotionally. Whilst hoping she would give me this, I made a huge error in my judgement just hoping to feel seen and loved. Ultimately when it came out, it was much bigger than if I had just ended when things were happening when they were.

Ultimately, we're all human and make a lot of mistakes but if you can do things without hurting or impacting others with as minimal damage, then please do


That's a difficult situation indeed. I don't really see another way than talking with your partner again in a quiet moment and letting him know that this is really difficult for you and important to you. Maybe he doesn't realise that you can't simply ignore these wishes and that you're unhappy. You could tell him again how you feel and ask what he thinks about it, and if he has any proposed solutions. After all, he shouldn't want you to be unhappy in your relationship. I'd also ask him what he's afraid of.

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