When I first saw this question I was like "meh, not a lot" but after writing it down it is quite a lot hahaha

I guess the 4 main necessities in a partner would be that they are

:- kind (and respectful)

- no unproblematic views (in regards to politics, gender, race, sexuality, etc.)

- childfree

- non-religious

and in relationships:

- support (not in the therapy way but in the "don't make shit worse" way)

- effort

- good communication and honesty

- faithfulness

If you don't mind us asking - how have you found that matches up to people that you meet or are interested in?

outside of the online world, I haven't been very successful finding people who hit all 4 and tbh I'm willing to be more open with the last two (as long as they don't force their religious practices onto me or want to have kids *with* me)—even then, I find it hard to meet people with what I deem to be unproblematic views. There's always something that disappoints me in their opinions (especially since I do live in a pretty closed-off country) and I eventually lose interest (as I don't really want to keep arguing over things). Hope I answered the question 😅

I think I subconsciously look for a lot of the qualities that I might not have in myself.

Kindness - I've learnt deeper kindness with my partner.

Through her actions and her being, I've learnt to be kinder. Along with that patience, care...A lot of things yes.

For me, a value that I don't always think is appreciated is patience, I think we expect someone to be exactly who we want to be without taking the time to really understand them and what makes them who they are. It takes time to build the sort of intimacy we want to have in our personal relationships. That's not me advocating to stay in unhealthy relationships, but expecting someone to change overnight and then cutting them off when they don't, also isn't the answer. Allow people the space and time to grow without the constant pressure of your expectations as that can sometimes be the hardest part of the process. I see this a lot in the early stages of dating. If two people aren't immediately in sync with their expectations on how things are going, you get ghosted instead of direct communication.

Ultimately, surrender to one another, 'in and out of the bed'. Intimacy, transparency, open communication, mutual support, understanding. Taking care of us as individuals and then just sharing our love! 💎