with the recent coverage of this topic, a lot of mixed opinions are showing: some people believe that taking a break in a relationship can be a helpful way to give both partners time to reflect on their needs and feelings, and to determine whether they want to continue the relationship; others may view breaks as a way to delay the inevitable end of a relationship. so, we thought to bring it to the community and see what you all think.
I found that with good communication breaks are not necessary. Whenever I have a problem in my marriage, I stew on it for a while to see if it is something important that has to be addressed. If it does, I talk to my wife and we figure out a way to deal with it. Sometimes the talk is all that is needed, because we are of the same opinion, sometimes we need to work on it, and that can take a long time.
This way we not only have the chance to know our needs and feelings but also the needs and feelings of the other. It helps understanding little problems before they even become big ones.Now, everyone needs to find out what the best way for them is to deal with problems of any sort. My way was always thinking and then talking it through. In a relationship the person you talk something through with, should be your partner.But this is how I deal with it.
I agree that it's not necessary.
I think any disagreement that warrants a complete pause from seeing, talking, or having a relationship means I need to break-up with the person. I always felt like it was as if you're "keeping" them an option while deciding whether you want to be with them, which doesn't really sit right with me. This could be just the avoidant in me speaking as I'm generally not that good at handling disagreements (especially big ones).
That being said, I think things can work depending on the people involved in making them happen so while it wouldn't really work out for me (and create even more areas of insecurity/doubt), I'm sure someone out there will be able to make it work 😅
can be an opportunity to take some time to focus on our needs/desires and then "come back" with renewed energy/perspective(s).
problems often lie in living on a second honeymoon (which always has a limited lifespan) vs seriously working on the relationship.
For a relationship break to work (and not end up in a break up) it would require a strong sense of trust, communication, honesty, understanding and acceptance.
The reasons for a break are often something that’s built up over a period of time. It’s very difficult to accept that something is wrong in a relationship or something requires time away if you’re not the one asking for it. And often the receiving partner can feel upset, responsible and perhaps angry about it too.
Sometimes the person asking for the time away is perhaps so tangled up in whatever their issues are, that they have “forgotten” to ask their partner(s) for support in dealing with the problem without having to take a break in the first place.
There are times when the external issue putting pressure on a relationship requires a behavioral change from all concerned in order for support to be effectively given or for a “successful” relationship break (ie one that doesn’t result in a break up).It’s hard to accept that your partner wants a break from you because of an issue that’s external to the relationship. If that’s the case, then the partner should be able to seek support from the other person. Without that, fault and blame starts to be attributed and this can spiral into a break up.
Going back to my first paragraph, if trust, honesty and communication are there from the beginning, then it should be clear as to if/why a break is needed and it should be clear if there is some sort of fault to be attributed to one or more individuals involved.
At that point it would be clearer to see if the relationship needs support from one or more partners, whether it needs a genuine break or whether it needs to actually break up…..
issues that are tied to relationships. Sometimes stepping back from the relationship can be the only way to untangle the thoughts and work out what is arising because of that relationship specifically and what is the background noise of having longer term personal difficulties to work on.
And if a break up happens after a break, at least both parties have had time to think things through rather than a break up happening in the heat of the moment?
For me recently I felt very relieved to break up, something I would not have felt had we been taking a break instead