Yes, sex is about interaction. Which is why I’m a top with some people and a bottom with others, and sometimes — with the same person. Sex can be the most intimate form of communication, of getting to know someone. And I think S&M plays a role to help us have more casual sex, as we don’t have to dive deeply into conversation with someone when using it’s language. It gives us a ready made register to speak in. And that’s ok, because sometimes we just want to scratch a sexual itch.

Leave space and time for laughter and conversation

I love it most when it’s a ‘giving’ session and the other person is getting increasing aroused, hornier, louder, hotter, wetter and desparately wanting and asking for more 🙂

Mine is that if it's consensual, ethical and everyone is being safe within their own personal assessment of what's reasonable... sex is great. It's a fun, intimate thing I can share with people I love, or strangers, or anyone really. Attraction makes it even more fun but honestly isn't a deal breaker for me. Because it's quite simply fun regardless. I think people get too caught up on sex as something special and magical when ultimately it's just pure biological fun between a bunch of sweaty naked people. It absolutely can be special and magical but it's still awesome even when it's not.

That’s a complex and multi-layered question. There’s one’s approach to the act itself; one’s views on how and with whom you should do it; one’s views on what it actually is; one’s thoughts on when it’s appropriate; where it’s appropriate and even how one might find it to be appropriate. Most of these answers are instinctive. Some are based around cultural norms (abnorms), some around upbringing, some around personal feelings and experiences as well as influences from peer groups/partners….