it seems like situationships have recently become a really big relationship dynamic and folks are either finding themselves in them or pursuing them on purpose. we wanted to see what the community feels about this dating trend and their experiences.
for those of you who are not familiar with the word situationship, here’s a brief definition from the web: Less than a relationship, but more than a booty call, a situationship refers to a romantic relationship that is, and will remain, undefined.
what attracted you to the situationship? (I lowkey unintentionally found myself in one and I'm curious how others end up here 😂)
For me I've more found myself in a situationship than consciously entered it
I find it makes it very difficult to set boundaries and expectations which is why I like it even less
I also think a proactive approach to building those boundaries is better in the long run. It avoids anyone getting hurtIt's all to easy, imho, to blindly enjoy the fun parts and ignore those questions and find yourself having feelings but none of the groundwork that creates a relationship
Like it's fine if you and the other person happen to move in the same direction
I think communication between the two parties is still key..
happens on its own.
you find a fuck buddy. -> you vibe -> things are getting more and more “involved” -> ineveitable point where “situationship” emerges, can be recognised by a passing thought “whoa, we’re now more than fwb, friends perhaps, wtf and how did it happen”.
At least, that’s how I find myself in this position more than once
Do people think that situationships tend to be found in CNM dynamics?
You can find them with every kind of dynamic I think.
Not sure about others but mine is definitely not. it's kind of that awkward stage where you're "seeing" one another with the intention of being exclusive but no one has brought it up yet.
in hindsight, do you think being in a situationship was a positive or negative experience for you? why?
I was half expecting exclusive relation, ended up being “demoted” to fwb. In hindsight - lack of communication on my part, the other side decided (again - lack of communication on their end!) that I do not wish to be exclusive. Whole situation was an exercise in bad communication - both of us wanted to be exclusive with each other, none said it loud.
For me it was an overall positive. I learned about myself, I had fun, and I was able to communicate needs when it came time to. I think they become negative when you stop listening to your needs / don't consider the other person's needs and don't communicate with each other
To me a situationship is when two people who don't like each other get in a relationship, not because they like each other, but because they don't want to be single.
They're both aware that if with one of them finds someone they like more then they'll leave the situationship behind for an actual relationship.
Often situationships are one-sided. Where one person really likes the other person and the other person doesn't like them so much, but enough to keep spending time with them and f***ing them, but not enough that they would be willing to put a label on it or promise any kind of commitment. So the situationship exists until the one person gets tired of this or the other person finds someone better.
I want to share how I feel 'situationship': for me is how the persons involved in a relationship put their own rules. Or exploring ways to describe themselves. Me, at the moment a decided with my partner to write a paragraph, let's say very us, to explore words that really matches us. And yeah, also aware and open that anything can happen, when we lose control and let ourselves truly be
This discourse makes me ask are situationships inherently negative?
Positive and constantly challengingly at same time. But deeply a great opportunity to connect with our needs, communicate them, listen to the needs to our partner or partners and check again w ourselves. And let the heart speak, while taking space and breathes
I wouldn't say they are. if you're enjoying the lack of structure and just going with the flow (both people agree etc.) then I definitely don't see it as an inherently bad thing. It's actually a pretty good way to describe someone that isn't quite a "partner" but you don't want to see them as a friend either. Whether it's a transition or a permanent status, as long as it serves its purpose, why not.;