5 Love Languages and How to Speak Them

Here's how you can speak your loved ones' love language

written by
last updated
September 15, 2021
mins read

Love languages are how we go about giving and receiving love. The five most common ones are: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, and physical touch. Being aware and having a better understanding of your and your loved ones' love language or language can help you connect at a deeper and more authentic level.

Thus, it is important to know what each love language means, how to communicate your love languages to others, and how to speak it to your loved ones who have them.

Here's how you can do that too:

Love language #1: Words of affirmation.

Folks whose primary love language consists of words of affirmation thrive on being told words that encourage, reaffirm, and validates the relationship or their feelings.

How you can communicate that your love language is words of affirmation:

"Sometimes, I just need you to tell me that you love me and that you are proud of me."

How to speak words of affirmation to your loved ones:

Remind them how much you love them and are proud of them regularly. This serves as an amazing way to encourage them and you can never say "I love you" too often!

Love language #2: Acts of service.

This love language consists of feeling appreciated and valued when others help with activities and tasks -no matter how small or insignificant they are.

How you can communicate that your love language is acts of service:

"Sometimes I need you to show me you love me through your actions."

How to speak acts of service:

offer help without being asked. You'll not only ease their load, but you'll have extra time to enjoy each other's company as a result.

Love language #3: Receiving gifts.

Folks who are the most happy and feel loved when they receive thoughtful gifts from their loved ones as a token of affection, consideration, or love are more likely to have receiving gifts as their primary love language.

How you can communicate that your love language is receiving gifts:

"The gifts you give me have meaning. Even something small and unexpected can show me how much you love me."

How to speak receiving gifts:

look for unique occasions to give them a gift. A surprise gift is a great way to them know you were thinking about them.

Love language #4: Physical touch.

A higher enjoyment of skinship and physical proximity are usually telling signs that someone's primary love language might be physical touch.

How you can communicate that your love language is physical touch:

"Sometimes I just need a hug and a kiss. I love the moments when we are physically close to each other."

How to speak physical touch:

Make a point to sit close to them or give them an affectionate hug. They'll always be happy to receive a little extra love!

Love language #5: Quality time.

Folks whose love language is quality time enjoy having their loved one's undivided attention on them alone for extended period of time -without which they can start to feel unappreciated and unloved.

How you can communicate that your love language is quality time:

"The most important thing to me is spending one-on-one time with you! That's when I feel your love the most."

โ€How to speak quality time:

Spend one-on-one time together. While group activities can still be quality time, there's nothing they enjoy more than individual time with those they care about.


our take.

If you're not sure what your love language is, we invite you to read once more and imagine yourself on the receiving end of each of the love languages discussed above. Ask yourself: which one brings me the most joy?

Also, remember: you can have more than one love language and could enjoy multiple ones at the same time -and your loved ones as well. The most important thing is to know how to communicate them to those around you.

Before you go: While these 5 love languages are the most frequently discussed, due to their problematic roots, we invite you to check out a more modern, non-heteronormative, and extensive approach to defining the love languages that can be applied to all relationships here!